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“hold off, Is it a night out together?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

This week on “Wait, Is it a Date?” we are accompanied by Autostraddle President and

L Term

specialist
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. You got that right! This event is about lesbian interconnectivity — starting up with friends’ exes, pals connecting with this exes, and the tradition developed by everything crisis.

Arrive when it comes to gossip, stay your psychological control. And before that enjoy a-game that assessments Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she typically wouldn’t normally.)

Thank you so much for the nice feedback after our premier! When you yourself haven’t but give consideration to providing us with a rating or evaluate!


SHOW NOTES

+ Five years ago Riese build an
Old Hollywood information
that is the intersection of all of the my personal passions.

+ Here’s
the essay
We reference in which I mention setting up using my roommates.

+ My personal crush of this week Mj Rodriguez released a music video on her track
“one thing to Say”
!

+ As anyone who has just observed a small number of attacks of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush regarding the few days C.C. Babcock ended up being shocking to me if it turned out she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina informs me they generally nonetheless are.)



Drew:

I might be really okay with it present. I might never ever add somebody else without their own permission. Nevertheless the concept of whenever someone had been like, “Confirm that you may be linked to me personally,” I would resemble, “Yeah, it’s the existence I’ve resided. I really don’t care about.” Is that odd? Would be that difficulty?


Christina:

No, since if I happened to ben’t, i might feel bad not being. I might be like, “Wait, I’m not sleeping?”


Theme tune plays


Drew:

Hi, I Am Drew.


Christina:

Hi, I’m Christina.


Drew:

And introducing

Wait, Is It A Night Out Together?


Christina:


Hold Off, Is This A Romantic Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the major concerns. Firstly, can it be a date? Just what are times? That happen to be dates? Will we like times? They are the form of concerns that we answer about right here very expert and beautiful podcast.


Drew:

I’m Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.


Christina:

I’m called Christina Tucker. I am also an author at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer on the net. I’m improving at explaining my self as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. Which is united states. That’s which we’re.


Drew:

Yeah. So all of our primary topic this week may be the Chart.


Christina:

I just thought it required a sting. I don’t know. That believed really dramatic, but In my opinion it required it.


Drew:

Yes. No, please, please, please. Thank you, thanks. No, no, no. The suitable level of drama.


Christina:

Thank-you.


Drew:

Yeah. Therefore we’re referring to lesbian interconnectivity.


Christina:

I love that expression because it sounds like you need to restart the lesbians. It sounds like the connection to the internet isn’t functioning.


Drew:

Yes. it is very advanced level, really futuristic, and ‘s been around since there has been lesbians, i do believe.


Christina:

Yeah. In my opinion scholars will say once they discovered initial lesbian fossils, they discovered a data alongside of these created to the sand. And that I genuinely believe that’s just what that movie means, correct? It’s about the data? That motion picture with Kate Winslet and the sand fossils?


Drew:


Ammonite?


Christina:

Yeah, that’s what it is more about.


Drew:

If only

Ammonite

was about cave ladies. I’d watch that lesbian motion picture.


Christina:

Well, when I have not observed it, I’m going to fearlessly claim that it actually was. Cool.


Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like we’ve got plenty lesbian duration parts, but we’ve never eliminated straight back that much. And that I believe it’s the perfect time we perform.


Christina:

Let’s only keep getting it further back in its history.


Drew:

Before we get to the main topic, you’re nevertheless getting to know united states. And that I believed that it could be fun to relax and play a game where you men could really analyze Christina. Thus our very own icebreaker because of this week is just a little video game that I call “Would U-Haul.”


Christina:

I am, again, therefore pressured about it. This might you should be how I come in to the video game. This could be my personal game mindset, a tiny bit high key, some stressed. That’s ok. We are all discovering.


Drew:

I do believe that’s fantastic. I believe that will move you to more vulnerable, perhaps.


Christina:

One of the best emotions.


Drew:

Simply a terror, merely a serious terror. Therefore the method in which “Would U-Haul” really works is actually i will describe a scenario. Let us call-it Christina enthusiast fiction. And that I’m likely to pause after every little area to-be want, “Okay, Christina, I’m sure that you have never stayed with someone, don’t want to live with a partner. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?”


Christina:

And I also will sometimes say yes or we’ll state, “i am prepared.”


Drew:

If you don’t — really, we will see right here. But I’m thrilled. I believe I perhaps cracked the signal.


Christina:

You’ve damaged the signal? I am thrilled.


Drew:

Let us find out how very long this takes. Assuming you won’t ever would, In my opinion you win? I am not sure just how there are champions right here.


Christina:

I am not sure that we now have champions when you look at the online game of U-Hauling.


Drew:

Really, I am not sure should you’ll go along with that after this. Thus I’m getting heading.


Christina:

Fair adequate.


Drew:

Okay. Very, Christina.


Christina:

Drew.


Drew:

You are at the friend’s wedding ceremony. In spite of the great number of romcoms you’ve soaked up, you did not head to this marriage considering you’d satisfy anybody because, really, this is not a romcom. This is basically the real and normal life of Christina Grace Tucker. You adopt your own assigned seat and are usually glancing at the phone as soon as you recognize a woman at your table is looking at you. She introduces herself as the buddy’s previous baby sitter. She’s remained a pal regarding the family members, but she does not actually know anyone there. She looks like mid-forties and also a striking angular face. You set about chatting. She offers to provide a drink. Once she stacks up, you recognize she is six legs tall, 6′ 3″ in pumps. You know what? I am only browsing hold on there and get similar, now, would U-Haul?


Christina:

I’m captivated. I’m fascinated because i would get put during this marriage. But up to now I’m not U-Hauling everywhere.


Drew:

Cool. Which is entirely fair. Entirely reasonable. Okay. So you spend whole wedding ceremony learning one another. There’s only an immediate spark and instant chemistry. And certainly, you will do connect in addition to sex is actually amazing.


Christina:

Tight.


Drew:

And thus this wedding ceremony was a student in Northern Ca. And that means you both extend your remains for a few times to fuck and check out and eat at restaurants and shag. And you supply to separate the cost of the now joint space, but she laughs you down and it is like, “Obviously perhaps not, honey.” Therefore, the next 3 days tend to be miracle. You are feeling your own walls tumbling straight down. You’re falling faster than you ever have actually. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

So only for quality’s sake, I’m having a hard time picturing a world wherein I got three shock days away from try to spend time with individuals i really do maybe not understand. That looks bonkers. In case i did so, great for me. But I’m not U-Hauling at this point. It will be a no.


Drew:

Great. Okay. That’s okay. You simply found. I get it. I get it. Okay.


Christina:

Thanks a lot such.


Drew:

So she comes back to ny and also you come back to Philadelphia.


Christina:

This is where I live.


Drew:

And you are texting everyday. That’s where you live and is where this girl resides. And you are texting everyday and also you see both many times monthly. She’s very busy together with her job, but she is rapid purchasing you a train ticket to help you arrive see the lady and remain at her gorgeous brownstone in Fort Greene. And then six months go. And one night when you are out to dinner, she requires you to definitely move in with her. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

And relocate to Nyc? I do not really love New York. No, I’m not moving in at the 6 months level. I’m not undertaking that, no.


Drew:

Okay, okay. Totally, totally, completely. Wow. Okay. Which means you keep matchmaking long distance. She knows that you’ll need some time and she’s prepared to expect you. Some more several months move. It really is now been over per year. Your own property manager lets you know that they are attempting to sell your place to a developer who’s installing condos, so you can not renew it. You ought to get a hold of a brand new destination. Your now girlfriend informs you that no stress, but her present still appears. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

Okay. At this time, i’d U-Haul for two reasons.


Drew:

Yay! Fine. Please inform us.


Christina:

Largely, in some sort of by which my landlord marketed my house to build it, my personal landlord is currently my best friend, making sure that appears like one thing moved wrong within relationship. And that I must merely leave Philadelphia anyhow. And when I get to maneuver in with my sweetheart over here, that appears okay. That is fine. Entirely good. But yeah, i believe I might require an external energy like a mean property owner.


Drew:

Which is very — ok. Used to do think that you might should need casing to obtain there, therefore I’m pleased We knew that.


Christina:

Yeah. That’s exactly what must eventually myself first.


Drew:

Really, I’m glad to know what it does take. Thus theoretically, if you weren’t kicked out, how much cash additional time?


Christina:

Seriously, might went on for a long time. Philly and nyc aren’t also that far from each other. I acquired room over right here. We’re bouncing forward and backward. We’re having happy times. I could have allow that roll for a long time until i suppose Shoshana can become the worst individual I know.


Drew:

I didn’t understand that Shoshana possessed your home. Really, there you decide to go.


Christina:

There we get. Wow, which was exciting.


Drew:

Well, thanks for playing.


Christina:

I’m pressured, is clear.


Drew:

And that I’m glad that i understand… possibly if you’re ever before, therefore if anyone’s ever matchmaking both you and desires one to relocate, possibly your own gf told Shoshana to sell your house in the interests of the commitment.


Christina:

Honestly the quickest way — somebody would have to talk to Shoshana and get want, “merely kick her away.” After which she’d wind up as, “Yeah, positive. Of course.” That will be the way it occurred, even when she did not sell the home. Some one would you need to be like, “Could you merely stop this lady away therefore she’s going to just conquer it and move in with me?” And she would say yes. Double she’d do that. That’s what friendship is.


Drew:

I adore that.


Christina:

Yeah, that is really breathtaking.


Drew:

Well, i’m like we learned much in regards to you.


Christina:

Many Thanks. I feel like We discovered alot about me, too. Danger of homelessness is really the point that keeps me relocating any scenario, I guess. Wow.


Drew:

Well, that’s great.


Christina:

That has been truly thrilling. I’m similarly thrilled to move into all of our main portion because I think speaking about lesbian connectivity with this guest, with this special guest, i do believe it will likely be incredible, Drew. How have you been feeling?


Drew:

I am very excited. This is certainly a professional. And by that, What i’m saying is an

L Keyword

specialist, but a little bit of specialized during the subject available.


Christina:

I do believe a few things is genuine, my pal. In my opinion two things are true without a doubt. Do we wanna present all of our visitor or will we desire our guest introducing by themselves?


Drew:

I’d love all of our visitor to introduce herself.


Christina:

Guest.


Drew:

I will declare that all of our visitor is the only Riese Bernard.


Christina:

Guest, communicate.


Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. As well as being weird to get the guest!


Christina:

Yeah, it’s.


Riese:

I had not to say any such thing. I didn’t also do so. I did so say situations. I’d to sit right here calmly.


Christina:

And you happened to be truly fearless. Plus faces happened to be valued.


Riese:

Thanks a lot such.


Christina:

Though this can be demonstrably a sound average, i would like our listeners to know that Riese had been generating some very nice response faces during “Would U-Haul.”


Riese:

There’s various ways becoming heard. Do you know what after all? That’s what I always say. I’m the Chief Executive Officer of Autostraddle.com. And I’m additionally on an undefeated kickball staff. That is certainly myself. You will find a puppy known as Carol. And that I have dated people.


Christina:

Congrats regarding the kickball!


Riese:

Thank you so much. I’ve been involved in individuals.


Christina:

Great. Enjoying that. That is fantastic to create to this, this here internet dating podcast. Which is really good.


Riese:

Yeah. I believe that… will there be whatever else?


Drew:

No, i believe that is fantastic, Riese.


Christina:

Whatever you desire to discuss.


Riese:

I enjoy raspberries, the fruit raspberries, and private pools.


Christina:

Compared to…


Riese:

You Understand when someone goes like…


Drew:

Its like once you hit. Yeah.


Christina:

Oh. Those are disgusting, so I merely exhausted all of them from my personal head.


Riese:

Yeah. And that is all.


Christina:

Great.


Drew:

Really, we immediately considered you with this subject.


Christina:

That is true.


Drew:

Because first, obviously, queer females and non-binary people in lesbian community being like, I don’t know, making love with folks who people they know have acquired gender with since long before

The L Keyword

ended up being ever before a series. But i really do feel just like

The L Word

solidified a particular cultural idea of the chart with Alice Pieszecki. And so I felt like you might have plenty of understanding of this topic.


Riese:

It is correct. Two of the article authors, i wish to say, of

The L Keyword

had this real chart of these in addition to their friends these people were attracting throughout the wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i do believe, ended up being one among these. She chatted to all of us about it, which they had constructed this. Because demonstrably, everyone else in that writer’s place had fucked people inside writer — you are sure that, and the prolonged web of this generation of lesbians in Los Angeles. And in addition they noticed can these people were like, “let us put it inside the tv show.” Plus some ones take the chart. Like, some people whom … like, genuine people are on the data as a tale.


Christina:

That is incredible. That is the method that you learn you’ve made it.


Riese:

Actually that sweet?


Christina:

That would be thrilling personally.


Riese:

And therefore when you haven’t seen

The L Keyword,

firstly, congrats. Second of all, it becomes the centerpiece of just one in our head character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s it-all over her wall surface. And it also is the name of an internet site they started called ourchart.com that flopped. Additionally the idea … and it is in pilot, i believe. For the 1st episode, Alice starts writing on exactly how every person’s connected, because every person’s connected with this particular person. And that I can connect you, like you’re most likely only two levels away from me personally. Which was actually genuine. Like, despite having Dana, that has not a lot of knowledge because she was a closeted tennis user, they nonetheless could actually hook up the girl. And that’s actual life since it is correct.


Christina:

That is tradition. Yeah. That’s what society appears like.


Riese:

That is tradition. Which is queer tradition immediately. Now everyone helps make their own charts.


Christina:

Yeah. In order that was going to be my personal subsequent concern, ended up being have either people made a chart? Because Really don’t imagine We have, I am also sort of today thinking like, what was this this past year sitting within my household for easily did not generate a chart? Like, that was the point of that, truly?


Riese:

I believe I done it during my diary, in the same manner like … Because I really like, I don’t know, organizing info, i suppose, as an idea physical exercise.


Christina:

Yeah, I think that’s additionally why i’m surprised that I haven’t completed it. I love the concept of categorizing circumstances.


Riese:

Right. Yeah. Because it is fascinating. I’m not sure exactly why it’s so interesting, however it is. It is fascinating to get like, wow, many of these folks, they can be linked. Its crazy.


Drew:

On show, once ourchart.com is actually conceived, they will have a genuine data that folks can truly add things. And that I feel something that you joked pertaining to on

To L and Back,

and from now on men and women say constantly is like, when this existed in a proper way, not one person would put their own names on it, nobody would feel at ease placing their brands upon it.


Riese:

Might.


Drew:

I would personally. I would end up being really good along with it current. I would personally never ever add some other person without their own permission. Nevertheless thought of like, every time someone was actually like, “make sure you’re connected to me,” I would wind up as, “Yeah, oahu is the existence I resided. I do not mind.” Usually strange? Is that an issue?


Christina:

No, as if I becamen’t, i might feel poor not being … i might end up like, “hold off, I’m not on it? Like, i am sorry, what?” No, that would actually send me into a light ethical anxiety about whom i’m as individuals, what I’m doing. In the morning I interesting? Perform people {like
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